Letter to a proffesor

Hi Jaramillo,

I’m writing this in English and will then translate it with Chat GPT. I’m not a wannabe but I was educated in an English school my whole life, learning England’s English as my educational language. But believe me, although I grew up with money and obviously don’t fully realize the benefits I’ve had from that money, I’m not a materialist or an asshole. My father is a very hard-working humble man.

My passion is writing and cinema and I hope in this essay I can bring light to both. So Tarkovsky. I must confess, Professor, that I had lost much of my passion for cinema but after your classes it has returned in a giant wave I am only now learning to surf. I watched all Tarkovsky and made a list of all the movies I should watch.

I’m AA so I don’t really go to parties, not because I can’t — I have made a decision not to take any stupefiers anymore with the help of God — but because I find that lifestyle genuinely boring and empty.

However, Tarkovsky, holy fucking shit!!! It’s like I found a director that read my soul, looked into it and showed me just what I wanted to see. As a sign of respect I write this essay for everything I’ve learnt from you but mostly for reviving my

passion for cinema and making me question my biases.

I’m sorry I didn’t watch the movie when you asked it of me but I was working on what I believe is the most important thing I’ve made in my life. Only God shall see, but even if the book isn’t successful I make art for making art, although the temptation of the devil for fame and money is always there and I am prone to it. Although what I’ll never question is Jesus Christ. But that’s besides the point. Sorry, I had a lot of fucking coffee and it’s 3:19 am.

Tarkovsky is the most incredible filmmaker I have ever watched. I began watching Solaris as it seemed the easiest watch and as I watched it with my father we were both duly impressed. The sound, in which you are an expert, is completely off the charts. Truly I had never heard anything like it in any movie.

But after watching all his movies and reading his book Sculpting in Time, well, I find my view of the world based on what I was taught as a child and what I learnt throughout my experiences is very similar to Tarkovsky’s — mostly in the fact that the search for a deeper connection to God and spirituality should be the purpose of life.

My favorite book is War and Peace which I read when I was 19 and I understood from that moment on that Russian culture is one of the most interesting of the world and they are not just the bad guys the Americans have led us to believe they are. Americans, fuck. I know them well. I went to college with the woke students, I fucked many American girls, I lived next to the rednecks in the cold Pennsylvania mountains, danced with the cowboys in Texas and survived jail

with the oppressed Black folks of Texas. But I must confess although I will always believe it’s a beautiful country I was beginning to see it as the only thing in the world.

You showed me it’s not that way, through Tarkovsky, and I saw the true beauty in that which the Americans call the villains. Solaris was amazing. The reeds in the water were mesmerizing. Hari made me analyze my life and realize that if I ever went to that planet my apparition would be that of Ellie, who broke me through monstrous lies but I somehow still love. Seeing Hari and the effect seeing her had on the protagonist made me think of the ghosts of my own past and what I would do to see them again, especially because of Hari. That movie touched me and I realized I had to watch more of this man who operated the camera so marvelously.

After that I watched Andrei Rublev. As a Christian I found it a deeply touching work. First and foremost it’s a movie about faith as I find all of Tarkovsky’s movies are. Of how one man who was taught the faith loses it after seeing so much cruelty in the world but then through experience finds it once again and elects to create art as is shown in the last scene with the mural.

P.S. I’m not doing this for extra points for real, I just want to connect with someone through art. What higher purpose than that, only knowing God. Well, my experience with faith was quite different. I was taught there was no such thing as a God all my life and through suffering quite differently to Andrei at first I found Him when I had nothing left. I think at the end Andrei came to the

same conclusion I did: there has to be a God and the highest way I can honor Him is through art, the meditation and appreciation of His creation.

Impressed, I went on to movie number three and I watched Mirror. What can be said about this movie except that it’s a masterpiece. It’s life, in a movie — mother, father, son, childhood, old age. It’s like watching an abstract painting come to life and it is truly beautiful. The acting is superb and I watched it again with my parents. Tarkovsky reminded me why I chose this career and what my purpose in life was. Watching him was a spiritual experience which I find the closer you are to God the more often happens.

The scene in the newspaper factory was my favorite — something about the acting, the cinematography, the wardrobe and the pacing is a master class.

Impressed, I went on and watched Stalker and well. It’s amazing. What the holy fucking shit. Stalker and the writer in general are the most impressive. Their acting and their philosophies of life which are Tarkovsky’s — and although the stalker seems like a pathetic loser he is a sad hero but a hero nonetheless. How is there so much beauty in something so dystopian? Only Tarkovsky can find it. WOW. Magical. And the car moved with such delicacy.

Then thinking I would be disappointed I watched Ivan’s Childhood. It broke my heart. The scene in the forest had the ambience of the movie as all the characters had an innate sadness that transfers from the screen up to our hearts — little Ivan wishing to die to find his family and the soldiers obliging. I cried. I hadn’t cried

in a movie in a long time.

Then I watched Nostalgia which I must accept... Wait fuck I’m listening to Paris Walkways Live at Royal Albert Hall by Gary Moore and the solo is fucking majestic. Anyways back to what I was saying. It disappointed me until I understood in a way that is the purpose of the movie.

The feeling of nostalgia is one I can deeply relate to. I was exiled from American college unjustly just like Tarkovsky was from Russia and every day was grey as I could only think of the Savannah, Georgia southern nights which had meant so much for me. Well for Tarkovsky it was Russia and everything was grey without it. The way the actor moved and the color palette and the last candle scene as a symbol of undying faith. Masterpiece. I just had to take it in.

And The Sacrifice was also very good. The last scene with the burning house reminded me of something I hear in AA: I will give you a new life but it will cost you your old life. And it seemed as if the whole movie could be explained in that one scene and now understanding the situation in which it was made, well. Beautiful.

Thank you Professor. You have inspired me as has Gardoni and Marcelino and all the staff and my companions. After what I had lived I thought I had no reason to live. But now through my book and telling my story through art and eventually a movie I am inspired in this school CENTRO.

If I had never left Savannah, Georgia I would never have met all the wonderful

people I have met and I would’ve been lost in the idiocy of American culture. Viva Mexico and thank you for your teachings. I understood what you wanted us to do with the stairs — understand the rigor needed for cinema of quality.

Thank you Professor and I hope this essay serves as an apology for not watching them earlier as I said I was working on the most important project of my life. But you have renewed through Tarkovsky my faith in cinema as an art form. I’ll send you the Google sheet of all the movies you’ve inspired me to watch. And I get to make my own short soon. How marvelous.

In conclusion, Tarkovsky is deep-seated in spirituality and love for the world in all of its horrendous beauty and he inspired the hell out of me. I must go to sleep although I probably won’t — will go on with revision number six for my book. Hopefully we can work together in the movie about it one day, together teacher and student.